Dear God, I want to save all the children.
Dear Cordelia,
Yes, absolutely, let Me show you a plan… You will start an organization and I will give you a map and you will lead the children to safety, just like Moses did. You will have resounding success and be wildly prosperous and everyone will thank you.
Translation:
Yes, Cordelia, you can save the children. Your nascent mortal mind just can’t comprehend the scope of what you’re asking, but I find your faith and gumption endearing, so I will grant your heart’s desire.
What you will discover, is that there are many people who will think your ideas sound great. They will get excited and feel your heart energy and tell you how amazing you are. But as soon as you ask them to take action, most of them will shrink.
Dear God,
That’s okay! I’m really brave and I really want to help the little ones. I want to teach the parents and train the teachers and combine the services and show everyone a better way to raise the rising generation in a way that will solve all the societal plagues causing such darkness in the world around us.
Dear Cordelia,
You got this! I am calling you to speak on my behalf, to be the voice of the children, to advocate for those who have nobody to stand up for them. Your words will change hearts and minds and the children you help will benefit forever.
Translation:
The grown-ups are kind of dummies. It’s very difficult to change hearts and minds, but that doesn’t mean we stop trying. If you are willing to help with My work, I will be with you and I will help you know what to say and do… But when I sent my very Son, who walked the earth with a greater share of My power than any other human ever has, do you remember how many people listened to Him? You will be largely reviled, but it will still be worth it and I will reward you greatly for your dedication.
Dear God,
Well, I’ve been at this for a while now… And it is really hard. I don’t mind the work, and I don’t mind the opposition. In fact, I kind of thrive on both. But, I’m tired and overwhelmed and this path is lonely.
Dear Cordelia,
I am with you. You have been chosen and called to this mission. You have been prepared for this role from the time before you arrived on this temporal lyceum. You are being made into something greater through this refining process. Don’t quit. You will not fail, because this is My work, not your work.
Translation:
You can do more than you think you can do. I love you for not giving up, but I’m not going to make it easy for you. I can’t, that’s not My role. I will teach you and guide you and make your efforts into something greater than you could do by yourself, but you will struggle to see the fruits of your labors while you are in the midst of them. You will think you are failing again and again, but if you trust Me, I will lead you. I can give you peace in these trials, but I will not take away the trials, for then you would not learn. Do you think it’s easy to become a god?
Look at the legends. They are not hollow. Developing your divine attributes is no less than a hero’s journey, and few have done it. Their names become myth, for their success is rare. If you want this path, you can have it, you must keep walking. The carrot is a powerful motivator for you, and I’m sorry you can’t see it yet. But I promise the outcomes you seek are coming. Trust me, but do not trust me to take away your burdens. Trust me to make you strong enough to carry them.
Dear God,
Now, about this reward you keep promising, when are we going to see those heaps of heavenly treasure land in the bank account? I appreciate the fact that we’re still standing, and I know that is only possible by Thy hand, but living hand to mouth is killing me. Surely you could send some relief? At least if this grueling work cannot be made easier, could we just have some stability in our temporal station for the meantime?
Dear Cordelia,
Have I not provided manna for you daily? Have you not had your food and your shelter and your basic needs met, in spite of your anxieties that they would not be? Many have tried to follow this course and have been found wanting. All they needed to do was keep going. Because you have not quit, you will succeed. Have you come this far to turn back now?
Translation:
When are you going to understand that it is not about the money? Look around you. Look at the state of your life. Do not fear the priorities of man. Fear Me. And by Fear Me, I don’t mean be afraid. I mean, give heed to My direction and allow Me to guide your priorities and believe that I will not leave you out in the cold.
Look behind you. How far have you come? How many miracles have you seen? Have I ever failed you before?
With this time, you have healed. Your marriage has flourished. Your children have grown happy and healthy and your days are filled with joy and love. Your time is spent on things that really matter. You do not have a single vapid task usurping your light.
You are validated and gratified with ample evidence that your work is benefitting others. And who is the beneficiary? The children! As you have desired. You have not failed! But these little ones do not come with purse and scrip. They are helpless, and you are helping them, and so I am helping you.
Dear God,
You’re right, I wouldn’t trade any of it. Not for all the money in the world. I want to learn more about temporal abundance… But I will not give up. I will keep walking.
You have served me so well, so far.
Thank You.
Love, Cordelia
🩵🩵🩵
-or-
He Chose Me, and He Chose Me, and He Chose Me, and He Chose Me 🩵
I am too happy, and I am too sad, and I am too hopeful, and I am too hopeless. If I have ambition, it’s a God-complex. If I fear failure, it’s a depressive slump. If every feeling I have is a symptom, how do I ever make any choices at all? Either I am a confident, passionate, decisive power player, or I am an impulsive loose cannon subject to misfiring …
About the Author • Index
Personal essays about my journey as a trauma survivor cultivating my life through subconscious work, embracing intimacy as an instrument for healing, and writing an epically erotic romance novel along the way.
Sanctified Volume I • Index
Sanctified is a character driven, erotic romance that celebrates free use and self discovery, with a sweeping narrative that takes its time to build, and heat that doesn’t.
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